Where’s Amelia?

Amelia loves to hide from us. It’s her favorite activity. The only things is…

She’s not very good at it. She basically just hides in a ball right out in the open and we have to pretend like we don’t see her.
hiding-amelia (1)
Then when she pops up we have to pretend like we are surprised when she appears. It’s ridiculous and not very fun when we are in a hurry but I guess nothing toddlers do is conducive to rushing.

My daughter wakes up every morning at 6am, yet everyday it is a war to get her to school on time. She says she doesn’t want to go, she feels sick, and wants me to carry her to school. I use every trick in the book to get her out the door and across town in a timely manner. Then when we finally get to school, she runs in without even saying good bye to me. Times like this make me ask, “Is what I’m doing worth it?”

I make such an effort to be there at bedtime, the one who takes her to and from school, I am at all playdates, and I know all her friends’ names and favorite TV shows. I spend tons of time with her and to be frank most parents where we live do not. I’m not judging the way others parent instead I wonder if all the work we put into raising her even makes a difference. Amelia has friends who have weekday and weekend nannies. She has friends that she has been doing weekly playdates for years and we have never met the parents… they weren’t even at the birthday party. I am constantly mistaken for Amelia’s nanny because I spend so much time with her. Her friends that have nannies seem like nice well adjusted kids. Often times they are better behaved than Amelia and they don’t act like the stereotypical rich kids with distant parents. They are caring, confident, and fun. Amelia has even asked for a nanny and gets super excited whenever she has a babysitter. She’s the only kid in her class who doesn’t have a nanny so it just makes me wonder if all the nights I rushed home so I could tuck her into bed were even worth it to her?

Some days I think about this a lot, especially on the temper tantrum filled days. I fantasize about being able to afford a nanny and think about what I would do in my free time. Then I realize I probably wouldn’t know what a horrible but adorable hide and seek player my daughter is and am reminded that even if it doesn’t matter to my daughter it’s been a gift for me to be able to watch her grow up.

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8 Responses to “Where’s Amelia?”

  1. Angelia October 15, 2014 at 12:23 PM #

    I don’t live in a world where kids have nannies but I do live in a world where the parents are not as present as they could be. Being a teacher I see the children of both present and non present parents and I can tell you with complete confidence that you are doing the right thing being there for Amelia.

  2. hobee1971 October 15, 2014 at 12:24 PM #

    While she may love the novelty of having a babysitter, in time the battles you have over bedtime and leaving for school will be just a memory and all she will remember is that her Mom was always there when she needed her.

  3. Francesca October 15, 2014 at 2:55 PM #

    Well, maybe she can´t “honor” it now. But I´m sure, in some years and especially when she´s grown-up she really will appreciate all the things you (two) do for her. Especially, that you spend a lot of time with her and be with her, when she was a child. Now its just so exciting for her to be in school and meet with her friends and so on. I would assume she don´t make a big deal out of saying goodby, because somehow she knows, you´ll always be there for her.
    I know, sometimes parents have to work and put their kids in Kindergarten and daycare and have Nannies and so on. But honestly I can´t imagine to NOT have my kid around me. I just wonder then: Why does this people have kids, if they hardly see them 1h per day? Children grow up so fast. I would try to miss as little as possible of all the big and little things in my kids life. (Even tough Babysitters are great. Parents need their own quality-time of course.)
    Well, thats just my opinon.

    • Shannon October 27, 2014 at 10:44 AM #

      Thank you Francesca!

  4. star71 October 15, 2014 at 8:13 PM #

    I think she’ll be glad when she is grown that you were always there for her to tuck her in and take her to school and playdates.
    Kids look back on that stuff and think “I remember when…” and tell their own kids…
    That’s why I volunteer so much for my oldest… B/C my mom was never there… She was always too busy to do anything and I always vowed I’d find a way… And I have…
    I might be dirt poor, but I’ve found a way to be there for my kids.
    SO just keep doing what you’re doing…
    She’ll appreciate it in the long run…

  5. storywrtr October 16, 2014 at 12:31 PM #

    All those toddlers seem well adjusted now, but wait…in the future, these kids will no longer have the nanny because they’re too old for that. They’ll not know their parents and feel disconnected. They’ll start acting out, rebeling…they’ll turn into the teens you hate.

    I’m not saying they all will, but I’ve seen it before. What Amelia has is stability. A mom who will be there always. A parent who cares enough to do these mundane, crazy, tedious things for their child. It might seem thankless, and honestly, most of the time it is, but in the long run, you’ll have a smart, independent child who is well adjusted and knows that she will always have someone on her side.

    Chin up. Keep doing the most thankless job on the planet, because it’s the one job in the world that will give you the most satisfaction. I happen to think you’re doing wonderfully!

    • Shannon October 27, 2014 at 10:43 AM #

      Thanks for the support!

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