To Myself on my 30th Birthday

I’m not really into open letters but this one seems necessary.

Today you are 30. For the first fifteen years of your life, you lived in a place you didn’t choose to live in. You were bullied everyday at school and didn’t have a stable home life. You hated it so much that at the age of fifteen, you choose to move all by yourself to a different state.

So for the second fifteen years of your life, you were on your own making your own choices. You went to a boarding high school and eventually moved to New York City. You’ve lived in New York for over ten years and are officially a “real New Yorker”. You are married, have a 3-year-old daughter, and a dog. You’ve opened up a comedy club with your husband. None of this was easy and nothing’s ever perfect but for the most part you are living your dream.

So then why do you walk around feeling like the girl who got beat up on a daily basis at school? That’s not you anymore. Starting today you will have been living on your own away from your childhood traumas for longer than you experienced them so guess what? It’s time to get over it.

The things that happened to were bad. In fact, so horrible you can’t really write about them in a short open letter. That being said, they happened a really long time ago when you didn’t have control of where you lived or went to school. But the first chance you got to make a decision about these things you made a positive choice. Your choices haven’t always been the best but they have always been yours and they have ultimately created a pretty awesome result: a thirty year old you.

So for you thirtieth birthday I have one wish for you: to see yourself for who you are today, the person you choose to be, and love being. May your thirties be a decade of realization that you are in control of your own life.

shannon sutherland

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10 Responses to “To Myself on my 30th Birthday”

  1. jsodetcrochet February 27, 2014 at 8:26 AM #

    Happy Birthday Shannon!!! Welcome to the 30’s!
    Glad you are going to leave that negative stuff in the past. Even though I only know of you through social media, you are a wonderful woman! I really enjoy your blog and am so happy the Comedians Club is up and running. You deserve the best!
    Have great birthday!

  2. Jillian February 27, 2014 at 8:27 AM #

    Happy Birthday, Shannon! I hope you have a great day!

  3. hobee1971 February 27, 2014 at 8:34 AM #

    I hope you have the best birthday ever and that you are able to forgive yourself and others for those things and come out the other side healthier, happier, and with monster self-esteem. <3

  4. M. February 27, 2014 at 8:51 AM #

    I really really like that. It’s wonderful and true ’cause it’s so YOU!

    Happy Birthday to YOU (a loving mom and wife and a successful, strong and pretty woman)!


  5. Antonella Astorri February 27, 2014 at 12:27 PM #

    Happy Birthday, Shannon! I hope you have a wonderful day, filled with happiness and spent with your loved ones!
    Much love <3

  6. star71 February 27, 2014 at 3:10 PM #

    That’s AWESOME!!!
    For me the 40’s for a very forgiving time to myself…
    At each decade really, at 29 I had just had Orion and at 40 I had Ian…And you learn so much about yourself in your 30’s Shannon that you’re going to really enjoy them, esp. with opening your club and already starting with the self-realizations…. By the time your 40’s hit you’ll feel wonderful and at ease!!! AND ready to deal with a teenager!!! LMAO!!!
    Wishing you ALL the best!!!

  7. Vicki February 27, 2014 at 9:06 PM #

    Happy Birthday, Shannon! Congrats on all your accomplishments!

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