Babies Everywhere!

All of the mom friends I have with babies around Amelia’s age are either pregnant with their second or just had their second child. Some are planned and some are surprises but one things is for certain… something is definitely in the water!

396373_10150430139077676_517352675_8734394_1764799704_n The first time I found out one of my friend’s was pregnant I was shocked. Her daughter is 2 months older than Princess A and WHAM before her kid was even one she was pregnant again. I can’t even comprehend having a second child right now. I have just started to feel in the swing of things and enjoy life as a mom.

Some of my friends sound genuinely happy but others just say well “you don’t want your kid to be a selfish only kid and you want your kids to be close in age.” They don’t seem excited about their second kid. It’s more like something on a to do list they have to cross off ASAP.

I know tons of people who are only children or have a huge age gap between their siblings and they don’t seem miserable or unhappy about it. Yes, some wish they had a sibling or were closer in age with their siblings but lots of people with siblings close in age wish they were only children. Sooooo I guess it’s a “grass is always greener” kind of thing.

I want Princess A to have a sibling one day but I just don’t feel ready and I feel like if I’m not happy the whole family suffers. I tell myself that she learns sharing from Freckles and as long as I take her to the playground, play dates, and classes she will get enough social interaction. But right when I start to feel better about my decision some nosy old lady scolds me for ruining Princess A because she doesn’t have a sibling yet.

What are your opinions? Do you feel like kids with huge age gaps between them and their siblings or only children are DOOMED FOR LIFE? Do you feel like there is really an advantage to any of these situations? Or is it all just nonsense!

Stay Glamorous,

Shannon Sutherland

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21 Responses to “BABIES EVERYWHERE!”

  1. Angie November 14, 2012 at 4:28 PM #

    There are eight years between my two sons. They definitely aren’t doomed for life. I wondered if it was a bad thing at first with there being such an age gap, but it has really turned into a cool thing as they have gotten older. My oldest son is a musician and a super perfectionist, and my youngest is into film making and gaming and really laid back. There isn’t much sibling rivalry or competition because they are at different stages. I wish I could say they didn’t argue, but I think all siblings do that regardless of age difference. I think what I’m trying to say is it ‘s what you are comfortable with. If you don’t want to have another baby right now, that should be your choice and not what society may or may not dictate. They are going to be great kids either way!!

  2. Angelia November 14, 2012 at 4:33 PM #

    Do what is right for you and your family and tell the Noserson’s and BossyMcBossypants people to bug off. Princess A seems to be doing just fine.

    • Shannon November 14, 2012 at 11:04 PM #

      I will tell MossyMcBossypants that you said to bug off hahahahahaha

  3. Marie-S. November 14, 2012 at 4:45 PM #

    I don’t have children yet, but I know I wouldn’t want them to be too close in age, I have older siblings one is 5 years older one 6 yrs older and one 19 yrs older than me. I think its ok if there are age gaps. For me I would be afraid I couldnt spend enough time with my first child and enjoy beeing a mother for the first time, if I would be pregnant too soon after having my first child.
    I love my siblings and I would never ever want to miss out on them, oh and not just only childs can be spoiled^^ I think it depends on how you raise your children and what values are important for you not if you have siblings or not….
    So they way you choose is the right way for you, because you know best how you feel and now I’m lost cuz I can’t find the right words to say what I want to say…. 😉 hope you get what I’m trying to say…

    • Shannon November 14, 2012 at 11:03 PM #

      I get it Marie. I agree and my fear is if I have a 2nd kid too soon I won’t be able to give them as much attention. That’s why I think I am leaning towards waiting till Amelia is in school.

  4. clochette191 November 14, 2012 at 5:14 PM #

    My daughters are 2 years difference I wanted 2 children and I felt ready to have another child. My first pregnancy was difficult, but the second was very zen. I took 3 years for their education (in France, we have a special leave). Oddly, I was less tired to get up at night and less anxious. My first daughter went back to school and I enjoyed the second. I was afraid that Cassie (my first daughter) be jealous but no. My sister has her second son who is 9 months and another 7 years. Unlike me, she is more tired. Before the birth of my second nephew, the teacher of Nils (my first nephew) told my sister that he was selfish and did not share.
    I find it stupid : I have 2 daughters and they don’t always share their toys
    We must want another child not by facilities. He must want to give love and time to the child.
    We don’t educate the second child as the first : we don’t make the same mistakes but we do other.
    I also think that having lost my first daughter (Hanna) to contribute to the fact of wanting to give love to many children. It is not easy to say clearly what I think in another language but I think the general idea is there.

    • Shannon November 14, 2012 at 11:02 PM #

      I get what you are saying Sabrina 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

  5. Melody November 14, 2012 at 6:42 PM #

    There is a 12 year age gap between me and my bro. We get along perfectly fine. We may not talk that often but we don’t hate each other or anything like that. Yes there are times that I wish we were closer, but it is what it is. I do plan on having another baby. My fiance and I wanted to wait until Amy was 3 or 4. That’s just our preference. We also don’t want a lot of kids. Just 2 maybe 3. I don’t think that age differences between siblings should matter all that much. I think it just depends on how you get along and care enough to make the effort to connect.

    • Shannon November 14, 2012 at 11:01 PM #

      We think we want to wait until Amelia is in school which is 3 or 4 and we only want 2. We sound a lot like you and your fiance lol

      • Melody November 15, 2012 at 8:35 PM #

        Yes indeed lol. One of the reasons that we want to wait until Amy is 3 or 4 is because we want to get potty training out of the way and cut down the cost of diapers so we’re not buying so many. She’s almost ready for potty training though. That and we think it’s a fair age difference. It’s weird though, even though I only have an older bro ( well technically 2, one on my dad’s side of the family who is 13 years older than me and I didn’t meet him until I was 20 and my dad had passed away.). I did kinda of grew up with a lot of cousins and a big extended family, but I never felt the need for too many kids. I think it’s because I’m used to just having one sibling and I know my stress level. 2 ( or 3, maybe) is enough for me lol.

  6. Melissa November 14, 2012 at 6:43 PM #

    My son is an only and after 21 years seems to like it that way. Has he been harmed? Not at all. If you aren’t ready then people should butt out. Having children when you’re not ready can cause probems between children, the parents and the parent and children.

    • Shannon November 14, 2012 at 10:59 PM #

      Agreed. I meet tons of only children that are awesome and well rounded. I don’t know why (at least in NYC) there is a stigma and everyone says if you only have one kid they will be selfish and miserable.

  7. Lisanne November 14, 2012 at 6:55 PM #

    Me and my sister only have 21 months of difference in age. That didn’t change a lot of stuff for me…. Sure it was cool to have a sister close in age, we even shared the same bedroom for about four years. But I like to make people remember that even if we are close in age, it’s not what gonna make everything go perfectly well. My sister and I are really really different (like day and night). I luv her a lot but still, we fight, disagree, hug each other, have lunch together… In short, stuff that happen to any siblings, whatever the age gap!

    • Shannon November 14, 2012 at 10:57 PM #

      That’s true. My sister and I have basically the same age gap as our 2 half-sisters. They get along really well. My sister and I are complete opposites and fought growing up but now that we are adults we are very close. So I guess it depends on the personality… which you have no way of predicting… So I guess I should just do what makes me happy!

  8. charlene lassiter November 14, 2012 at 8:37 PM #

    We had you girls close together because i had fertility concerns and we wanted to keep on going and not lose any more time. We waited on Scott because your dad started his company and we thought financially we should wait. I was 39 when i had Scott. You’ve got plenty of time! You had a rough 6 months with the reflux concern. You are really enjoying Amelia and you should continue to without the stress of another pregnancy. Don’t worry about what other people say.

  9. Jayel November 15, 2012 at 12:46 PM #

    My son is 7 years older than my daughter – let me tell you it is such a big help having an older child! He was willing and eager to help mommy take care of his little sister. They get along so well and never fight. He doesn’t mind when she takes toys from him or turns off the Xbox while he is playing hehe, he doesn’t get upset or fight with her. When children are small and close in age I see them fight all the time, the older one hitting the younger one, ect. Not all siblings do that, but I just tend to hear more parents talk about how much fighting goes on between their siblings who are close in age. My son loves to teach his sister things and read to her. Its almost like having another parent in the house! When I need to get some chores done, he will keep her occupied and play with her. So for me, I think siblings a little further in age is great. 🙂
    If having one child is perfect for you then don’t let anyone try to guilt you or make you feel bad for having one child. Your daughter has lots of social interaction and I don’t think she is missing anything! You are doing a great job and I love to read about all the wonderful things you do with her. Its a breathe of fresh air to see a mother so into her child. Sadly, I do not see that to often where I live.

    • Shannon November 15, 2012 at 11:11 PM #

      Thanks Jayel! Your son sounds like the way I was when my brother was born. I had a special shirt that said “I’m the Big Sister”. We are 7 years a part as well. I always wanted to be the one to change his diaper and feed him. Now that I am older I am very close with all my siblings. But as a kid I was the closest to my brother because I loved taking care of him. I also never fought with my brother and well to say I fought with my sisters is putting it lightly lol

      • Jayel November 16, 2012 at 12:08 PM #

        Haha aww! I only have brothers and I got along with them great! I’ve heard stories from my girl friends about how they would get into terrible cat fights with their sisters – but as they got older they became super close. I guess little girls just love to fight each other lol.

        • Shannon November 16, 2012 at 8:09 PM #

          it’s definitely a girl thing but being really close in age doesn’t help things

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