THIS WEEK’S SHANNONIGANS: DEAR FELLOW TRAVELER

Dear Fellow Traveler,
I see you looking at myself and my baby in fear as we board the plane. As we sit next to someone other than you I hear you make a big sigh of relief. As I rush to get my bags into the overhead compartments and install my car seat I get so nervous and take a little longer than everyone boarding the plane would like. Don’t blame me it’s not my fault airlines don’t let families board first anymore!


My baby must sense that I am stressed because she starts to cry. The second she starts to cry you shake your head and think, “I better not have to listen to this the whole flight.” I can feel your blood pressure rising with every shriek my baby makes. I try my best to calm my baby but it’s just not working. I stand up to ask the flight attendant for some water and I see you give me the glare of death. Like it’s somehow my fault that my kid is crying? Like I enjoy listening to my daughter cry? Like I am your neighbor throwing a wild party on a Thursday night and my loud music is keeping you up.

dear-fellow-traveler-2
Let Me Break This Down For You:

Contrary to popular belief I do not enjoy the sound of my child crying. I find it way more annoying than you because when this plane lands you never have to see my kid again. But I have to get in the car with my crying baby and deal with her for the next 18 years. So stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I did not board this plane with my baby to ruin your life. I need to get somewhere that I probably don’t want to go to and unless you know how to teleport me with your judgmental side eyes just stop.

If you don’t want to listen to children crying on a plane either buy some Bose headphones or become a billionaire and buy your own plane.

I really am doing the best that I can. I have no idea what my child wants. It’s like I am dealing with this drunk alien who is out to destroy planet earth and bring us back to her planet so we can spoon feed her cupcakes all day.

Yes, the sound of a child crying for 6 hours is not fun. But during this time I will most likely get puked on, have crushed up animal crackers stuffed down my bra, get peed on in the tiny lavatory, get poop thrown at me while cleaning up the pee, get sneezed on, get bitten by my baby so hard even Mike Tyson would hide in fear, and finally loose what little sanity I have left and end up looking like this…

dear-fellow-travelor-3
A purely and utterly exhausted hot mess that is in such denial she feels the need to give a thumbs up while holding her crying baby after her delayed flight lands at 2:30 AM.

Still feeling sorry for yourself?

Instead of rolling your eyes at me do something productive. Like ordering me a margarita so we can toast to an on time arrival and sleeping babies. Because fellow traveler we are more a like than you think. We both want to get to our destination without having to listen to a crying hyena for 6 hours and use the emergency exit to jump out of the plane to escape the insanity.

Enjoy Your Flight,

The Hysterical Mom in 22C

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10 Responses to “THIS WEEK’S SHANNONIGANS: DEAR FELLOW TRAVELER”

  1. Liza September 23, 2012 at 2:32 AM #

    Well said, my thoughts exactly, I have four children and have also gotten the evil eye

    • Shannon September 23, 2012 at 7:38 AM #

      4 kids must be so hard to travel with. Kudos to you!

  2. colby September 23, 2012 at 6:42 AM #

    awwwww shannon!!! you still both look adorable!!!! i always say that babies can’t help themselves…they are babies…babies cry. However, kids who can read and write and still throw a tantrum?! THAT i just can’t deal with hehe : ) xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    • Shannon September 23, 2012 at 7:38 AM #

      LOL, I hope Amelia calms down by then and I wish everyone felt like you about the crying on planes :)

  3. Mandy September 23, 2012 at 1:18 PM #

    Perfect timing since I am staring a 20+ hour journey with a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old. I wish for more compassion in the world.

    • Shannon September 23, 2012 at 1:26 PM #

      ME too. Maybe they will sleep the whole flight. Amelia did last week so maybe she will pass on the zzzzzzz to your kids.

  4. Melody September 23, 2012 at 3:16 PM #

    I have yet to travel by plane with Amy. All I know is when and if I ever do and regardless of how old she is or if she’s sick or etc,. I will definitely be hard pressed not to curse someone out for not being at least slightly understanding. We all need to get to where we’re going regardless of the means of transportation. I just find it amusing that the other person doesn’t have as much to deal with other than a crying baby and they have the audacity to act like they are the only ones being inconvenienced. I’ve been on planes before where there was a screaming baby, but I didn’t care. It really wasn’t that bad.

    • Shannon September 23, 2012 at 8:58 PM #

      I am the oldest of 5 and good at ignoring crying babies so I never mind them. I thought it was because I come from a big family. But on the way back from LA in May we sat in front of a guy who slept the whole 6 hours even though Amelia was screaming the whole time and at one point throw a toy at his head. It didn’t wake him up and when we landed he was confused as to why a turtle was on his lap lol. I apologized for Amelia’s crying when he returned the toy and he told me he didn’t notice because he has noise cancelling headphones from Bose. He said he travels for business a ton which is why he bought them but doesn’t understand why more people don’t get them if they are annoyed by kids crying.

      • Melody September 25, 2012 at 10:47 AM #

        I know. I think a lot of people now a days just want an excuse to complain or be unhappy about something. Apparently doing something about it is asking too much lol.

  5. charlene lassiter September 23, 2012 at 11:47 PM #

    Hysterical mom in 22C………..I would definitely buy you a drink!!!!!!!!!!!

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