mom daughter kiss love


In the last post I asked for advice on temper tantrums and time outs. While I have a lot to learn in the ways of effectively disciplining a toddler I have found one method that works the best; positive reinforcement. When Princess A does something awesome if I tell her I am proud of her and give her a kiss it makes her so happy and she tends to repeat the behavior. This is such a simple thing but also very hard to do.

When I ask Princess A to clean up and she does so it is easy to remember to praise her. When she throws things at me or pushes another child it is obvious that I need to step in and do something. When Princess A sits quietly and looks at a book while cuddling Freckles sometimes I am so happy to have peace I don’t say anything.

Yesterday, after the temper tantrum while I was making dinner she sat next to the bookcase calmly reading her board books for 15 whole minutes. I was so exhausted and thankful that she was quiet at first I didn’t say anything. Then I realized how awesome it is that she is able to do anything for a long amount of time at this age, let alone something by herself while I am cooking. So I looked at her and said, “Good job. I am so happy you are my daughter.” Princess A smiled and went back to reading her books.

So starting today I am making a pact with myself that no matter how hard the toddler years get I will remember to not just remark on her behavior when it needs correcting but also tell her how proud I am when her behavior is awesome and doesn’t need correcting.

Stay Glamorous,

Shannon Sutherland

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  1. Melissa July 19, 2012 at 3:20 PM #

    Beautiful post.

  2. Céline July 19, 2012 at 3:29 PM #

    It’s a beautiful picture. I love the love between a mother and her baby

    • Shannon July 19, 2012 at 6:59 PM #

      Yes the mother daughter bond rocks!

  3. Karen Dent July 19, 2012 at 4:01 PM #

    I love this post! I think too often we focus on the negative and not the positive. I try to do the same thing. I hate the thought of my kids growing up only hearing about what they do wrong.


    • Shannon July 19, 2012 at 6:59 PM #

      Me too Karen. Also, in the past when teachers and bosses only told me what I did wrong I started to ignore them.

  4. Karen July 19, 2012 at 4:31 PM #

    It’s so easy to fall in that negative trap, it’s really about teaching them to be positive and happy adults with problem solving skills. Good for you for appreciating your daughter’s well behavior

    • Shannon July 19, 2012 at 6:58 PM #

      Thank you Karen… yes the negative trap is so easy to get into. I think I might put a sign on my door to remind me to use positive reinforcment lol

  5. Jess July 20, 2012 at 9:47 PM #

    I’m VERY lucky, Warren makes that easy for me. He LOVES to help, be it carry things, or clean up, if we’re doing it he wants to be a part of it. Today he was changing from his pjs to his clothes for the day (he’s very good at picking his outfits himself too!) he dropped his pj shirt on the floor and got dressed. I didn’t say anything, all of the sudden he turns around and goes “Oops! Gotta put this in my hamper.” Can you say awesome??! I sure did.

    I felt bad today too, I got too much sun at the beach and he’d forget and be his normal self, suddenly I’m in pain because he touched my arm or my shoulder. My dad almost yelled at him but I stopped him in time. It’s not his fault his mom’s sunscreen isn’t waterproof for as long as we were having fun in the water. I re-applied but it didn’t help! My dad was all confused, it was kind of funny, having to explain the fact that my 3 year old does not understand why it’s suddenly painful to touch me when he’s been doing it forever, to my 52 year old father lol. Just made me laugh. I love my little helper and can’t help but praise him and his awesomeness. There are times I don’t know what I’d do without him because he just picks up things and carries them for me without me even asking. I have a good little man (most of the time lol).

    • Shannon July 21, 2012 at 7:40 AM #

      I agree sounds like you are doing an awesome job with Warren!!!!!

      • Jess July 22, 2012 at 11:21 AM #

        Thank you!! I admit I have to pat myself on the back. My grandmother wrote me this not so nice letter after I told her I was pregnant. She basically questioned my ability to parent and said she was disappointed but not surprised I was pregnant. Ummm excuse me? It surprised the hell out of me! Warren was a 1% baby, I was on the pill, took it religiously, same time every day, and he just decided, nope, not going to stop me! I was not planning on becoming a mom at 24. Plus this was all coming from the same woman who, when she was my age, was known around town for being pretty “loose and wild”. Versus me who’s only dated two men…ever, and was set to marry Warren’s dad. It’s kind of nice payback that Warren is such a great kid, (And that my dad didn’t speak to his mom for over a month after he found out what she had said to me. I didn’t even tell him, she did!) Sorry just needed to vent.

        • Shannon July 22, 2012 at 2:04 PM #

          It’s good to vent it is horrible she said that to you. Especially because she is family but I can tell she is wrong because I can tell just from talking to you on the internet that you are a good mom!

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