YOU’RE FAT

shannon sutherland wedding day

My Wedding Day

I love this picture of me. It was taken almost 3 years ago on my wedding day. I felt like a fairy princess in a Disney movie. If you told the 12 year old me that I was going to live in new York City and marry the man of my dreams I would not have believed you.

I got made fun of a lot when I lived in Kansas. Most of the time people made fat jokes. I believed that I was really really really fat. The most obese person in the world and I was really insecure about it. When I look back at pictures of myself I really wasn’t that fat and just some basic education in nutrition would have helped me.

Instead, of being given advice about how to eat in a healthy way I was just told by class mates, acting teachers, and directors that I was fat and needed to loose weight. Finally in college I lost a ton of weight because of an eating disorder. The only good part about this was I learned a lot of lessons from being unhealthily thin.

1- People who call other people fat are really insecure about themselves. A lot of the mean girls that made fun of me in Kansas are now very overweight. I don’t say this to be nasty but maybe they were struggling with their weight and made fun of me to feel better.

2. People who call other people fat are unoriginal and saying it because they can’t think of anything better to say. Calling someone fat is the easiest insult in the book.

3. Don’t loose weight for other people because if you do once you loose the weight they will find something else to criticize.

4. If you do want to loose weight for health reasons don’t follow a fad diet. They just want your money and just like parenting if there was one way that worked 100% of the time everyone would be thin and one person would be really rich from selling the book with all the answers.

5. Love yourself before you try to loose weight. Because if you can’t love yourself when you are overweight it will be hard to love your self when you are “thin”.

I probably have a ton of other lessons I learned but that’s all I can think of now. So if someone calls you fat just pity them because they have nothing witty to say and if you are about to call someone fat grow up and think of something original to say.

When I was a kid my family went to Bingo night every week. I always hoped I would win but also hoped I didn’t. See the winners had to stand up and walk to the front to have their Bingo card checked and then win a prize. One time I won the grand prize and the next day at school all the mean girls made fun of me for being fat. I cried during recess and wished I hadn’t won bingo. I wish I could tell my childhood self that those girls were just jealous because I had won $100 in cash and was going to buy some awesome new toys with the money.

Stay Glamorous,

Shannon Sutherland

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29 Responses to “YOU’RE FAT”

  1. Lisanne May 25, 2012 at 10:14 AM #

    *Wolf whistle* Pretty mama in pretty dress! 🙂 I’m glad youre okay now. We all learn lessons through our lives, but some people just learn them a hard way….. The important thing is too remember of believin in yourself, standing for what youre believe but while letting others too. Like a certain someone would say: Give respect to get respect!

  2. Sally May 25, 2012 at 10:57 AM #

    Omg! You look absolutely amazing! I think you’re an amazing person as well. You are down to earth in your blogs & I have never, ever seen you belittle someone for their short comings, nor do you feed into the vile, slanderous crap that seems to breed on the Internet. Youre a class act & great role model for your daughter & for everyone whose lives you touch. You are a true inspiration.

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 1:18 PM #

      awwwwwwww thanks sally!

  3. Brianna May 25, 2012 at 11:02 AM #

    You are absolutely beautiful in this picture. Overcoming obstacles is hard work as a Teenager and someone in their early twenties wanting something so bad they’d do anything for it. Reading this makes me thankful that you were willing to share it and hope you may have helped others think just a little. I was the girl that was too thin and the girls told everyone that I was sick, anorexic, bulemic…take your pick. The other end of the spectrum isn’t all that great either and my home life wasn’t that much help. I’m actually just now getting over a lot of it as I became a mother. I had gotten true friends that have helped me through and am quite thankful you were able to get some of those throughout High School and College that helped you as well. Thank you for this post, Shannon.

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 1:18 PM #

      You’re welcome Brianna. I probably would have been jealous of you in school thinking no one made fun of you but I guess mean people will make fun of anything. I am glad you are doing better too!

      • Brianna May 25, 2012 at 1:55 PM #

        No problem, glad you are better as well.

  4. Amélie May 25, 2012 at 11:04 AM #

    You’re really pretty on this pic as always!! The fact that you are well now, and happy in your life is the best revenge on these people.
    I learned in my life not to listen the bad words of people, younger they affected me a lot. But growing up I learned to ignore them and accept me as I am and realized that their remarks were false.

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 1:16 PM #

      I am better at ignoring now that I am older but I still need some work.

  5. Karen Dent May 25, 2012 at 11:04 AM #

    I would like to agree with Sally in the comment above.
    I struggle with my weight. I have since I had Katie. I always thought I was fat while growing up, I wasn’t. I watched my cousin almost die from an eating disorder when I was in my early 20’s. It put a lot of things into perspective for me. She is doing better now, but is still no where near as healthy as she could be. It breaks my heart because she is an amazing woman.
    I am glad you are better. Reading your blog has helped me feel better about myself. You have helped me realize that I am fine the way I am. I see the joy you take from everyday life, and you have helped me recapture the joy in simple everyday things, like finding beauty in unexpected places.
    Thank you for that!
    Karen

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 1:16 PM #

      I hope your cousin continues to get better. I am glad you enjoy my blog because knowing that it helps people helps me.

  6. Céline May 25, 2012 at 11:22 AM #

    It’s a wonderful picture.

    I am sure I am not mistaken in saying that you have managed your life. you have a wonderful husband to of after what we can see and a little princess who is cute.

    People who make fun of us are nasty in nature or are jealous. Life has taught me too to be strong against the mockery of people and not let me.

    Life is a test and it We learn every day and at any age.

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 1:15 PM #

      I like how you say life is a test Celine!

  7. Camilla (@Gamolie) May 25, 2012 at 11:46 AM #

    You look absolutely stunning. I love everything about your wedding look – the dress, the hair, everything.

    I’ve struggled with weight my entire adult life. I was tiny in high school, but the classic “freshman 15” turned into 20, 30, and more. It took me until this past year (and I turn 40 tomorrow, so obviously that was a long time *lol*) to realize that people are going to love me no matter what, and if they don’t because of how I look, I don’t want them in my life anyway. I need to work on my health, but for me, not to impress people at a family gathering. And I have been so much happier since coming to that conclusion, I’m no longer killing myself by overthinking every bite that goes into my mouth, and I bought myself clothes that are flattering and my size rather than crying because I wasn’t a smaller size.

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 1:13 PM #

      Good to hear Camilla. I used to buy clothes that were smaller in hopes that it would inspire me too loose weight. Never worked. Now I buy clothes that actually fit and I am much happier.

  8. M. May 25, 2012 at 11:46 AM #

    Wow!!! You were such a beautiful bride! It’s not what I would wear If I ever get married (coz I don’t want a white wedding; I mean: AT ALL!!!, coz it’s everything but me), but YOU truely look like a Disney-fairy-princess!!!

    And so right you are: Diets suck! They may make you loose weight first, but then you put on double you lost… For Goddess sake, I never had trouble with to much weight. In was the other way round for me: I was really really skinny… And I hated it! People were making fun of me, coz I had the body of a young boy… No boobies, no sexy hips (looked like a pencil)… Till my doc found out, that I was somehow stuck in some strange pre-puberty status. So, she prescibed the pill and – tadaaaaaaa – boobies ‘n hips!
    I didn’t cry when my classmates called me names and put me down all the time. I got really aggressive. I was a Punk! Imagine Lisbet Salander (the Noomi-Rapace-Lisbet from the swedish original films) with a rainbow coloured dreadlocks and undercut and you have it… Insecure of myself as I was back then I strictly refused to get photographed, so I can’t show you…
    The aggression was not only bc of getting bullied but also a result of the hormonally disorder, to much testosterone…
    Today me, myself and I made peace and feel perfectly ok with each other. Not skinny, not fat, just normal… When the favorite jeans are to tight I just have to say no to beer and chocolate for a week or two… I’m really lucky…
    My advice: healthy food (fresh fruit, low sugar, low fat) and move! Go dancing! Shake your hips, it makes you feel good. Every woman is beautiful when she finds herself and dances…

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 1:12 PM #

      Goodness. people will make fun of everything. Thanks for the advice and I am glad your doctor found out what was wrong 🙂

      • M. May 25, 2012 at 2:30 PM #

        Again right you are… People bully and put others down in order to disguise their own weekness. It’s a shame really…
        Yes, I’m really thankful she found out. I mean it was a hard time. It wasn’t only about boobies ‘n hips… It was about freaking out, autoaggression and going out getting into trouble, looking for it, for a fight…
        But now we are better. We found ourselves. We are beautiful and free! So we should celebrate our femininity and dance… 🙂

  9. Jenn May 25, 2012 at 9:15 PM #

    Shannon,

    Thanks for putting this out there. Weight issues are the worst. I was made fun of as a kid and even more as a teenager because of my weight. But my issues were the opposite of your’s…I was the skinny kid.

    I got made fun of and called so many nasty names. I had rumors spread around about me having an eating disorder, despite people sitting with me at lunch and watching the mass amounts of food I’d put away.

    They didn’t know I had health issues that caused me to be so small. What they also didn’t know? I never had a problem with how I looked. The comments about my weight weren’t the ones that got to me…it was everything else. I was just that kid, that no matter what, was bullied and picked on. Ten years later I ask my classmates why they did what they did and said what they did. And you know what they told me? They just didn’t know.

    I have so many friends from many different parts of my life that were the big girls that were made fun of because of their weight. I think the reason why we got along so well is because I in a way knew what they were going through, only for opposite reasons. And these women in my life are so beautiful. People think I’m crazy when I say “Hey, I don’t really think I’d mind being a big girl…just as long as I had some curves!”

    Thinking back on it, being 5’6″ and hardly over 100 pounds for most of my teen years really wasn’t that attractive, but I honestly couldn’t help it.

    Now, I’m a healthy adult in her late 20’s and once again, don’t care what other people think about my looks. I like how I look, my husband loves me and thinks I’m beautiful. And right now, that’s all that matters.

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 10:50 PM #

      Jenn, thanks for reminding me about the important parts of life 🙂

  10. Jordan May 25, 2012 at 9:56 PM #

    I’ve always had the “you’re fat” problem. My body matured long before the other girls for some reason. By the time I was 12 I looked like a grown woman. But since hips and a good sized chest wasn’t normal for that age, everyone considered me fat. All my friends were smaller than I. Even they would make comments like “You’re just seasonally plump and it’s always the season”. I ended up starving myself most of the time for a good 8 or so years. Now that I’m older and weight what I did when I was 13, I know that I wasn’t fat at all. I’m not saying I couldn’t use a little work here and there, but I no longer feel the need to starve myself in hopes of shrinking into a size 2. It’s not even something that is important to me anymore. I’d happily stay a size 6-8 and not be ashamed. I’ve learned to take care of my body for myself. Now, when someone feels the need to call me fat, I see how insecure they are and it makes me sad for them. Thank you for posting this! I’m so glad you were able to overcome it. The good thing about going through such things, is it gives you the tools to help other people struggling with it.

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 10:52 PM #

      Thanks Jordan. It is true that we can help people with what we went through… that’s why I love writing. I am glad you love and take care of yourself!

      • Jordan May 26, 2012 at 3:50 PM #

        I love writing too. It’s a great outlet to have. And I’m glad you write and I get to read it! Plus, you always talk about fashion in a way that is open and welcoming to everyone’s unique styles, which I love.

  11. Jess May 26, 2012 at 12:13 AM #

    My problem with my weight is that I’m my worst critic. People look at me like I’m crazy when I say I want to lose 100 pounds. Which I can and still be considered “overweight” by bmi standards. When I tell them I was 100 pounds less before I got pregnant they’re shocked. I was in the best shape of my life, tiny (well as tiny as a woman with a very obvious hour glass figure can be. I’m always going to be a “large” in clothes thanks to my hips and chest lol) But I was healthy.

    Then I got pregnant and did really well with eating right and not gaining too much weight, enough but nothing crazy or that I worried about. After I had Warren is when it all went down hill, it took a year for the doctors to realize my gall bladder wasn’t working correctly. During that time I was so exhausted so I ate more, still good foods, but too many calories, because I (thought) I needed the energy. Really my body just wasn’t working right. So I gained a ton of weight.

    My dad was always on my case thinking I just stayed up too late, but my mom got it. Finally I yelled at my dad informing him if I could I’d sleep 12 hours, get up, eat something, then sleep another 12, every day. Not by choice. That made him shut up lol. Of course he felt bad later when he realized there really was something wrong. I was never really mad at him because I knew he didn’t get it, but it was annoying.

    Now I’m still working on losing that 100 pounds, I’m no where near where I want to be. I’ve made drastic changes to my eating habits. This week I didn’t buy one un-healthy snack or treat. Just tons of veggies and some chicken to grill. I’ve started buying nail polish instead of a candy bar as a treat, about the same price (I buy cheap nail polish!) lasts a lot longer and is calorie free!

    • Shannon May 26, 2012 at 9:16 AM #

      Good Job Jess! I am glad you are better and got your dad to understand. Buying nail polish is a great idea!

  12. Lisa May 26, 2012 at 2:37 AM #

    You look so AMAZING!!! SO gawjus Shannon…and you still are 🙂

    I understand about this fat issue, as a child i use to get teased for being over weight ( I’m Italian…I have a right lol) It was mostly my brother’s mates who use to tease me. being the young sister and all. It got that bad that i wouldn’t eat in front of my brother and his friends and i would shut myself in my room and cry so much eating was the last thing on my mind. Then when i started hitting my teens i lost heaps of weight by ‘Not Eating’ i got that skinny that i thought i was happy, but i wasn’t, i still saw myself as fat. I had to get help in the end for my eating disorder. But now at 29yrs old and after a beautiful son, I love my body, i’m not ‘Model Matirel’ but i can fit into my jeans and that’s what counts lol. I just can’t believe how mean ppl can be these days even back when i was getting teased (thank god my brother aren’t friends with them anymore) I see it as, it doesnt matter what size, shape or colour you are…we are all equal 🙂

    • Shannon May 26, 2012 at 9:12 AM #

      I am glad you are better now Lisa. And yes we are all equal!

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