ONE SIZE FITS ALL?

baby in cardboard box

This fits me right?

Sometimes when there are news articles about parenting ,such as the cover on Time magazine of a woman breastfeeding her son, my friends and family ask me why I don’t write about them. The reason is I know what worked and is working for me as a mom but I feel that every baby is different and parenting is not a one size fits all endeavor.

At one of my well baby check ups I asked my pediatrician how I could space out Princess A’s eating and nap times so that she wouldn’t poop in the middle of her naps and be cranky. She told me that if she knew the answer to that she would be a billionaire. I feel like this is true for parenting philosophies. If there was one method that was 100% correct then there would be one person who was really rich from writing that one book that held all the answers.

Princess A babbles and moves around in her sleep. The Husband Aaron and I try to bring her into our bed sometimes to cuddle with us but she squirms around and we talk about how we can’t even understand how co-sleeping with a baby is even possible. So we put Princess A in her own room in her own crib. While that works for us I have a lot of friends who love co-sleeping and swear by it. Their kids go through the same emotionally stages as Princess A and are developing great. Whatever they are doing seems to be working for them so who am I to judge?

The reason I love blogging is because when I don’t know what to do as a mom I blog about it and get advice from moms all over the world. I try the stuff people suggest and some of it works and some doesn’t because every mom, baby, and family is different. It’s fun for me to try new things even if they fail.

The only strong opinion I have on parenting is that if you meet someone who swears by a certain parenting philosophy and thinks anyone who doesn’t do it is ruining their child’s life you should steer clear of that person. Because nothing about raising a kid is the same for everyone and that’s what makes it so confusing, stressful, and most importantly fun.

Stay Glamorous,

Shannon Sutherland

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18 Responses to “ONE SIZE FITS ALL?”

  1. Sally May 24, 2012 at 11:31 AM #

    Target on Shan!

  2. Camilla (@Gamolie) May 24, 2012 at 12:26 PM #

    I completely agree. I get a lot of people assuming that because we cosleep and extended nursed, I must want everyone to do it. In reality, I’m the biggest defender of people who have no desire to nurse or bring their child into their bed. *lol* I think part of that is the backlash I’ve gotten for my decisions, I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to be shot down for their own parenting choices. I firmly believe that what matters most is that the parents are happy with what they do, and that means all kinds of differing parenting styles.

    • Shannon May 24, 2012 at 12:55 PM #

      We are the same but the opposite. I got a lot of backlash because I didn’t breastfeed. I really wanted to but I got an infection and was told it was not safe for Princess A. I also wanted to co-sleep but it just did not work because Amelia moves in her sleep so much. lots of people in NY are very pro co-sleeping so I got a lot of mean comments for my parenting I am very accepting of other peoples choices. Also, in NY there are people from so many different backgrounds that everyone does stuff differently but as long as the kids are loved they turn out fine.

  3. Ann-K May 24, 2012 at 4:04 PM #

    Co-Sleeping doesn’t work for us either… Lillian can’t fall asleep then because she’s too busy talking, tossing and turning and with that comes my lack of sleep. So we sleep in separate beds and we’re happy next morning. 😉

    • Shannon May 24, 2012 at 6:16 PM #

      That sounds just like Amelia. I wanted to co sleep so bad. She is able to fall asleep in our bed it’s just that she moves so much we are afraid she may hurt herself.

  4. Jordan May 24, 2012 at 6:28 PM #

    I agree with you 100%. I ask for advise when I’m not sure about how to deal with a situation or when I’m not sure if something she does is normal. But I end up just doing what works for us. I don’t like getting into all the drama with all the different parenting philosophies because the truth is, there is no perfect way to parent, so there isn’t any point in getting riled up about what other people choose to do. Some people breastfeed for years, some don’t even try. I know people who still sleep in the same bed with their 5 year old and others who’s newborn sleeps two rooms away. I always end up somewhere between two extremes. I tried breastfeeding for a month and wasn’t able to continue. I shared a bed with Rayne for 4 months, then decided I didn’t want a 4 year old in my bed, so I switched her to her crib. I don’t think people really understand that all parents just end up winging it no matter what plan you think you’re going to go by. Everyone needs to chill out and mind their own business on the subject, in my opinion.

    • Shannon May 24, 2012 at 7:08 PM #

      Very well said Jordan. And I agree no matter how much you read or prep for being a parent you are still winging it!

  5. Karen Dent May 24, 2012 at 8:50 PM #

    I agree with you 100%. Every child is different. That lesson hit home when I had my second child. I had Katelyn with all these expectations. Right from her birth she changed the rules of the game and I had to quickly adapt. She was formula fed, disposable diapers, etc…Everything I said I wouldn’t do, I did. Then I had David he was breastfed, cloth diapered and everything opposite Katelyn. You would never know that two kids who came from the same parents could be so different.
    The biggest lesson I learned as a parent is how to adapt. Just when I think I have it figured out, they change the rules of the game and I have to re think everything I believed.
    We tried co-sleeping with both kids. It didn’t work. Katelyn liked to move, she was never in the same position two mornings in a row. David was too much of a cuddler. He would turn himself face first into my husbands back and we were afraid he would suffocate. We also couldn’t get any sleep.
    If there was a “perfect” way to parent each baby would come home from the hospital with a manual (and if there is a manual out there I didn’t get it, and I want it!)
    Karen

    • Shannon May 24, 2012 at 10:32 PM #

      Learning to adapt is really important with parenting… thanks for reminding me of that 🙂

  6. Missy May 24, 2012 at 10:56 PM #

    I agree with you have to go with what works all three of my kids I have done a little diff.
    Larissa is fiercely independent and strong willed,we nursed exclusively for 6 weeks but she just couldn’t get it so I weaned her at 5 months.I got pregnant with Natalie a month later she was born 6 weeks early and couldn’t even suck and swallow so we had to tube feed first.She went to breastfeeding her 3rd day in Nicu and we nursed with formula added because she was such a peanut .Josh was born just 3 days shy of his due date was my biggest at 8 lbs 3 oz has breastfed since birth and we are still nursing at 2 yrs and 2 months.I am also cloth diapering.I do co sleep but Josh has a bed in our room.Do what works all of my kids are happy and I did what I did with each because I went with what felt right.

    • Shannon May 24, 2012 at 11:03 PM #

      That’s really cool. I love hearing stories like yours. You did such different stuff with each kid.

  7. Nadine May 25, 2012 at 3:57 AM #

    I’d be happy if all children were equal.
    We have a big family and if I have problems with my son, there’s always someone I can ask for advice. Unfortunately, all this advice doesn’t help me at all. I thought at first, I’m doing something wrong, but then I realized that all children are different. There’s no ‘master plan’ for raising children. If this were the case, then parenting would be the easiest job in the world. But it is not at all. It may be the most beautiful job in the world, but not the easiest job.

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 8:12 AM #

      That sounds like my family. I am the oldest of 5 and most peoples advice doesn’t really help me 🙁

  8. Céline May 25, 2012 at 9:19 AM #

    Amelia is a gift in the cardboard lol!

    She is so cute.

    • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 1:19 PM #

      Never thought about it like that. She is a gift!

      • Céline May 25, 2012 at 1:53 PM #

        I’m sorry Shannon, but I badly expressed. That’s exactly right: Amelia is a gift. This is the greatest gift.

        • Shannon May 25, 2012 at 1:55 PM #

          it’s wasn’t badly expressed. I agree 🙂

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