I WANT TO BE THERE

This was originally posted on Jan. 29th 2012.

The Husband Aaron took this picture of me on our honeymoon. I am staring out the window looking at Cannes. At the time I was thinking about what I wanted out of my life and my new marriage. I have some of these things ,like an awesome husband, baby, and dog, but am still working on others. Now that Princess A is here I have a lot of things I want out of motherhood.

Everyday I wake up I try to be a good mom but inevitably I make some mistakes.  When Princess A was first born, I was very hard on myself when I messed up. I also stressed out about the bad things in the world that I can’t control. I wanted to be a “good mom” and to me that meant being the perfect mom. Now that time has passed I am easier on myself and have quit trying to be perfect… and you know what? I am able to enjoy my baby more!

So I keep thinking what I want out of motherhood and what I want for Princess A and since the world and my daughter will always be changing all I can decide on is that I want to BE THERE.

I can’t take away all that is bad in the world and I can’t be a perfect mom but I can be there for her when things go wrong to give her advice and a big kisses!

This song reminds me how I feel about my family!!!

Stay Glamorous,

Shannon

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16 Responses to “I WANT TO BE THERE”

  1. Nadine January 29, 2012 at 12:49 PM #

    When my son was born I felt the same way. I wanted to do everything properly but that was very exhausting and I finished trying to be a perfect mom. I do everything for him and I´m always there for him whenever he needs me. I love him… and that´s what makes him happy. And if he´s happy then I´m happy too.

  2. Brianna January 29, 2012 at 1:21 PM #

    I felt the same way when my Seven year old, Brooklyn, was born. I wanted to be the best mom. I had to learn to relax and let her do things on her own to learn. She is still learning and the look on her face when she learns how to read a new book or doing her math problems shows me that I did a good job. My four year old, Juliet, is learning everyday and she tells me all about it. I learn something from them everyday so just hang in there, Princess A will surely teach you something everyday and you will be one of her favorite people and she will cuddle and love on you daily.

  3. Star January 29, 2012 at 3:03 PM #

    So true Shannon!

  4. Wendy January 29, 2012 at 3:07 PM #

    Every parent wants to be a perect parent for their child, but there is no such thing as perfect, that only exists in dreams and fairy tales. We all make mistakes, and goodness knows I’ve made a few, but the important thing is that we learn from our mistakes.
    I’ve done the whole new parent thing, buying the books and magazines, being hard on myself when I’ve done something wrong, but I’ve learned now that that was wrong. Making mistakes was life teaching me the lessons I needed to learn, and no matter how many books you read, experience is always the best teacher.
    It doesn’t matter what age your child is, there will always be new experiences and new challenges. Whether its the first word, the first time they walk, the first day of school or the last day of school, there are always changes and new beginnings. Being there through all of those things is the greatest gift you can give your child and as a parent you will never stop being there. Only a few weeks ago I had to turn to my Mum for some advice when I didn’t know how to cope with a situation with my daughter. Her advice worked and everything is under control again now! 🙂
    So enjoy every single moment and different develoment stage that Princess A goes through, whether its good or bad. Don’t try to be a text book perfect Mom, just be you, and don’t worry about lies ahead, take one small step at a time. 🙂

  5. Karen January 29, 2012 at 4:30 PM #

    we all make that mistake, thinking we need to be perfect for our baby. Anthony was born early and was in the NICU for two weeks. When I finally got him home, I thought I had to be supermom to make up for my “mistakes”. When in reality all he needed was to be held and showed that he was loved. Now, I can’t show him enough that he is the world to me.

    Our most important role, besides loving our kids, is to model for them how to be a good person and love themselves. It’s not our words but our actions that kids listen to. Every thing I do, I think about what Anthony sees, I want him to grow up with a good head and a kind heart and overabundance of selfworth. (okay, my rant is done) I SO LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!

    • shannonsutherland January 29, 2012 at 5:20 PM #

      Thanks Karen! I had a similar experience… I was sick when Princess A was born and couldn’t care for her the way I would have liked to so I overcompensated once I got better.

  6. Lori January 29, 2012 at 6:47 PM #

    Took some time to figure it out, but in raising my children, I came to understand, as long as I am there, as long as there is love, everything else will fall into place, work itself out and find it’s way.

  7. Tara Costlow January 29, 2012 at 8:48 PM #

    I feel the horrible need to say while you will always be there for her (and possible future kids) she might not always want you there (like I am right now with my mom). There will be times when it might get hard for you to be there for her because something big might have happened to you. I hate that I’m even bringing any of this around on such a wonderful post but again that horrible need. My husband and I have been through a lot (parent’s death, new step parents, going to war and coming home different, PPD, separating twice only to make it through, the list goes on) and sometimes only one of us was there. My kids don’t remember because they were so young but I do. Every day I make the realization being a good mom (and being there) is snuggling on the couch watching iCarly or teaching them to play Uno. The laundry might sit in the washer a couple extra hours (days) and dinner might be grilled cheese and tomato soup (which was voted on) but I know they’re going to remember the snuggles and games more than the clean clothes in the closet or the beautiful meal they didn’t eat (like). I have no doubt you’ll be there for her in any way you can. We all do the best we’re able and hopefully our kids will walk away knowing that.

    • shannonsutherland January 29, 2012 at 11:59 PM #

      Thanks for the advice Tara. I guess I should change it too… someone will be there for you…. your dad, grandparents, or me 🙂

  8. Felicia May 21, 2012 at 11:09 PM #

    I hear ya girl. I see my children’s worlds changing so fast around them as of late and have had to make some very hard choices for (ugg I don’t want to even think about it) when I pass on. Luckily they will be financially fine. All I want is to see them grow into beautiful people and the rest for me is a bonus. Life is short, enjoy it with them and have fun. 🙂

    • Shannon May 22, 2012 at 1:03 AM #

      So true and happy and sad at the same time!

  9. Céline May 22, 2012 at 8:21 AM #

    It is a wonderful picture.

    I’m sure you’re a very good mom. In life we all make mistakes and we learn to no longer make them. There are sometimes the moments of blues but we should know back up the hill.

    As I said, “when we want we can” and the life made of ups and downs and that’s how.

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