SOMETIMES IT’S NOT JUST POOP, PEE, AND PUKE?!?!?!?!

BEWARE: This is a really gross post so only read it if you can handle it and haven’t just eaten. I am posting this just in case there are any struggling mom’s out there who are tired of dealing with disgusting things and letting them know they are not alone.

One day when Princess A was 3 weeks old I was walking her during her daily 3 hour cry for no reason party. I had finally got her to sleep so I knew all I had to do was keep walking smoothly to keep her quiet. Then I looked down at Freckles and he had a white string hanging out of his mouth. As I was still walking I checked it out and pulled his lips up and what I realized was truly horrible. He had a tampon in his mouth. Not just a tampon a used tampon. And not just a used tampon but a really big and bloody used tampon.

I started to freak out and cry in disgust. I tried everything to get it out and then I just gave up and kept on walking because I didn’t want to deal with the tampon or wake up Princess A. Many people stopped me on the street and told me my dog had a tampon in his mouth but I just ignored them and kept on walking. Then a nice guy offered to help. He said he would offer my dog some of his chicken sandwich and see if he would drop the tampon. I said no thank you because Freckles is allergic to chicken and I didn’t want to deal with the diarrhea later. Then I noticed the guy had a banana and asked if we could use the banana as a treat because Freckles LOVES bananas. He looked at me like I was a weirdo and then said sure.

He gave Freckles’ half of his banana and of course he dropped the tampon. He then gobbled up the banana so fast that before we could kick the tampon away he swallowed it whole.

The nice guy was so grossed out he just walked away. Then I freaked out and called my vet because Freckles has a very sensitive stomach. While I was on the phone I stopped walking so Princess A woke up and started crying. The vet said Freckles would be fine but I should check his poop and look for the tampon. Seriously, could this get any worse?!?!?!?!?!?! If the tampon didn’t make it to his poop that meant he had a blockage and they would have to do something… I didn’t pay attention to what because I was too busy trying not to puke and pee at the same time out of pure demoralization.

I walked home with a crying baby and a dog who couldn’t stop grinning because he was so happy that he got to eat the banana and the tampon. I honestly don’t know what I did next. I probably cried and wished my life wasn’t filled with poop, pee, puke, and tampons. But now things have gotten better not perfect but better and sometimes my family is wacky and gross but I wouldn’t have it any other way… except maybe how horrifying it was when I finally found the tampon in his poop. I will need therapy to get that image out of my head!

Stay Glamorous,

Shannon

Tags: , , , ,

13 Responses to “SOMETIMES IT’S NOT JUST POOP, PEE, AND PUKE?!?!?!?!”

  1. manthamac January 20, 2012 at 1:57 PM #

    Oh Shannon, The question that crossed my mind was where did Freckles find it? But on second thoughts I don’t think I want to think too much about that either!

    How are you still sane after this? 🙂

  2. Kim January 20, 2012 at 2:03 PM #

    Life is so crazy sometimes and there’s nothing you can do expect go with the flow. I think you handled that day really well. If it were me, I would’ve been far more freaked out. I would probably have been crying and screaming and pleading with him to let go of the tampon.
    And that by the way is a really gross image. Oh man, I think it’s in my head now and I can’t get it out. I’m glad he passed it though.

  3. Renie Symanski January 20, 2012 at 2:21 PM #

    Oh Shannon, I love you. No matter how disgusting your experience was, you still shared it with us. That makes you so much more real in my eyes. You are honest and beautiful, and walk to the beat of your own drum. I love your sincerity, you are down-to-earth, and the most important thing: always GLAMOROUS !

    Ignore the haters – they are just jealous and petty, and they only WISH they could be as great as you!

  4. MissCGiggles January 20, 2012 at 2:32 PM #

    I find this very funny and a little gross! 😀 I laughed a lot!!
    But my dog is really good at eating disgusting stuff too… If I have some paper I’ve blown my nose in, laying around, you can be sure that he will eat it! It’s really irritating when I’m sick! He will also eat the cats poo if he can get to it. So disgusting!! 🙂

  5. Laura January 20, 2012 at 2:33 PM #

    I seriously shouldn’t read your stuff while at work. Not only did I crack up but I nearly showered my keyboard and monitor with a barely contained spit take. At least it would’ve just been water to clean up and not something more disgusting. Having my dog eat baby bunnies doesn’t seem so bad any more, at least there are no strings attached. Thanks for the laugh, though I can’t thank you for the mental image that is stuck in my head.

  6. Katie Luvsonehundredmonkeys January 20, 2012 at 3:14 PM #

    Darlin, i read this one on my phone and almost yakked. You did warn me i know but damn!!!!!!!!!! lol i love the story but dear me lol, thats horrific, i’m glad it turned out ok

  7. Sheena January 20, 2012 at 5:00 PM #

    This story made me laugh b/c I feel your pain. I have 3 kids and 2 dogs so I know just how you feel at times like this.

  8. Lori January 20, 2012 at 6:40 PM #

    Shannon – This was so disgusting and so gross but at the same time I couldn’t stop laughing. Ohhhhh, the things that make us human.. Love ya girl!

  9. Jenni January 20, 2012 at 8:48 PM #

    So funny. I used to have a toy rat terrier, and he did the exact same thing. I was mortified. I lived with 4 guys in college, and my little pal came out of the bathroom with his “treat”. Ewww! One of my guy roommates was like, “what does Kelton have in his mouth?” and reached down to remove it. Then realized he was holding a used tampon, and ran into the bathroom and had a serious techni-colored yawn. So gross…yet so hilarious!

  10. Dr. Strangemom January 21, 2012 at 12:26 PM #

    From a struggling mom who needed this today – THANK YOU, now let me go wash the puke out of my hair.

  11. Felicia Palmer January 22, 2012 at 3:47 AM #

    Lol My dad used to have a habit of picking up little ‘oddities’ on his little afternoon walks. These were when we’d just found out he was getting dementia. Anyway he aquired one of the above o his walk one day and I had to be the one to find it sitting in the keybowl we had at the front door. To this day I can never just thrust my hand into anything blindly lol. To make it worse I was getting my bf’s car keys who’s face was epic at the time!

Let's Make Some Noise!

%d bloggers like this: